


But You Didn't

by Ismaire



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Funeral, HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mourning, Passing On, gravestones, loss of a loved one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-11 11:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4434536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ismaire/pseuds/Ismaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were a lot of things Haruka wanted to make up to Makoto.</p><p>But he didn't. </p><p>Inspired by "MakoHaru - But You Didn't" on YouTube.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But You Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the video that inspired me this small one-shot that may possibly blossom into a series. 
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PZLidpDaQIg

I texted Makoto on my phone, anxious for his arrival in Tokyo. He was my best friend, and my boyfriend. I wanted to make up a lot of things that any normal person would be mad about.

Like I remember when I accidentally dropped his new phone in the pool. I thought that he would get mad at me. But he didn't. He just gave me a cute, innocent smile, took it, and put it in rice when he got home. It worked just like new the next day, but I still felt really horrible.

"It's fine, Haru. It was an accident," he'd say. Or that time he spent the night at my place and I unintentionally spilled hot chocolate on his pajamas. I thought that for sure he would yell at me or tell me off for spilling boiling liquid on him and his clothing. But he didn't. He just took them off, washed them, and took a shower. Of course I lent him a pair of my nightclothes, I felt really bad for putting Makoto through liquid hell. He'd kiss my forehead, and smiled warmly at me. He didn't even complain. Sure, he was surprised, but not the least bit upset.

"It's fine, I wasn't burnt at all, Haru," he had said that night. And that time that I dragged him to the pool, but he had warned me that it would rain. And unfailingly, it did. It poured hard. You would think that he would at least say 'I told you, so'.

But he didn't. He just kissed my lips, and I dropped the umbrella I was holding up for the both of us.

"It's fine, Haru. Let's just walk back home, okay?" That's all he said on the walk back.

And lastly, that time when I forgot to tell him that the swim meet was changed from eight to eleven, and he ended up waking up at six at dawn. For sure, I thought, that he'd hate me for wasting his precious sleep.

But he didn't.

There were a lot of things I screwed up on, and a lot of things he didn't do. But he still loved me for me.

And that's why I want to make it up to him. He lives in Shinjuku at the moment, so he's getting here by subway. He texted me a cute little sticker that had a rabbit with pink hearts everywhere that said I love you! in all caps. Usually, I would think that it was stupid, but it fits Makoto's loving personality so well and it's so cute that I can't help but smile at it. I start moving my thumbs, texting him as fast and as coherently as I can.

 _Where are you_ , it read. I locked my phone's screen and waited patiently for his answer back.

* * *

 

I've been waiting for about forty-five minutes, and still no reply from Makoto. It says he read it, and it briefly showed that he was typing, but it stopped abruptly. I assumed he must have lost signal or he's still on the subway. I absentmindedly open up my phone to call him, and look at the news that displays on a flatscreen on the wall of a cafe I was sitting at.

"A teenage boy has been struck by a truck, and was killed. His death was just confirmed a few minutes ago. Paramedics are looking for the cause of death," a lady for NNC news reported. The camera panned to the corpse of the teenage boy. My phone slips from my hand, and the screen shatters beneath my ankles.

Makoto has just been killed.

* * *

 

His phone has been cracked from the impact, and blood from his wounds stains the asphalt and seeps through the open cracks of the screen. His left cheek has been cut open and is gushing blood. His skull cracked against the pavement, leaking from underneath him and tainting his beautiful, shaggy, brunet locks. His eyes are lidded, half open. But they're not the same. They're dull, dry, and devoid of emotion. They lack the softness that they usually express. His lower ribs protrude and pierce through his skin. His shirt is halfway up his stomach, so that I can clearly see the gory scene that I am viewing right now. Tears rush to my eyes so unexpectedly like a tsunami and tears are cascading down my face. How could Makoto, my Makoto, be dead? This can't be. Makoto never did anything bad, so why did this happen? How could this happen?! Just a few minutes ago he was rushing to meet me here, and the next minute, he's holding onto his last breath. I immediately rush out of the coffee shop and head to the avenue where he was supposedly hit. I see ambulances headed in that direction. I sprint as fast as I can manage, dodging and going past people. There's the police, and the ambulances have stopped. I go faster than my legs have ever been able to take me and see the large crowd of people circling Makoto. I push everyone out of my way, I don't care if they like it or not. There he was, my precious angel. I push the paramedics and cops away, rushing to my Makoto's side. I lift his slightly blue body and hold him close.

"Hey, kid!" A cop shouts, trying to pry me off of my angel. "You can't be here!"

I bite his hand, continuing to hold his lifeless body in my arms. "Fuck off! Makoto is dead, my boyfriend is dead!" I shout at the top of my lungs. "You will not tell me what I can and cannot do!" The cop flinches from what I can hear, and takes a few steps back. His chest isn't heaving. His pulse is nonexistent. His heart isn't beating.

He really is dead.

Thick, hot tears flow over my cheeks and land on his once perfect face. You wanted to come to Tokyo to meet me.

But you didn't.

* * *

 

It's a gloomy day for Haruka. The sky's dreary overcast gave slight warning for rain. Decked out in a black tuxedo, he heads to a cemetery.

It was January 1st, the day Makoto was killed in a horrific accident. The day that marked a new year. A new year they were supposed to spend together.

But they didn't

It's been exactly five years since his death. His parents were completely devastated, and his siblings were too young to understand death just yet. Nagisa was in tears, Rei was in denial, Rin was a wreck, and Sousuke was shedding minor eye sweat. Haruka wasn't any better. His usual sociopathic expression was sullen, with melancholic eyes. The mortician did an excellent job at repairing his wounds and hiding them. He looked like he was at peace, resting, like he was sleeping.

Haruka didn't need to be told that he wasn't alive anymore.

His coffin was crafted out of beautiful ebony and oak woods, with golden rims and borders. In the middle, was his name, made out of pure peridot and emerald. Perfect for Makoto, it matched his gorgeous earthy green eyes. Bright green, like that of a new summer leaf, decorated with a fresh layer of dew. The aura of the funeral was the exact opposite of his personality. It was crestfallen, not cheerful. It was melancholic, not joyous. It was pessimistic, not optimistic. Makoto was a cheerful, kind-hearted, caring man, who always put his negative thoughts aside for the sake of others. He didn't have the heart to intentionally kill animals, he just couldn't do it and would outright refuse. He always had a smile on his face. He was so shy, so gentle. The only "gentle" thing the funeral had to offer was daintily lowering his coffin into the ground. Silent, noiseless tears streamed down Haruka's cheeks and fell onto the artificial grass.

Haruka remembers that when Makoto was being buried, the twins rushed and tried to stop the process. The raven caught both of them by their shoulders gently.

"Makoto isn't coming back," he said in a low tone. "He's... Dead."

"What's dead?" Ran asked.

"It means when someone or something is no longer alive, and they aren't a part of our world." Both were silent, before bursting into tears that the phrase, "Makoto is dead," finally made sense.

Today was the fifth time he's visited his grave. A lovely marble stone was crafted for him.

"In Loving Memory of Makoto Tachibana. Loving son, caring brother, kind friend, and blessed soul mate. Rest in Peace. 7.11.96 - 1.1.15." Haruka read out loud. He laid a bouquet of green flowers out on the pile of dirt. There were lilies, roses, tulips, sweet peas, and a few stalks of lavender. Makoto always smelled of lavender. The previous bouquet that he had left him last year was beyond wilted and decayed. Haruka took the old one, and said a small prayer.

"Makoto," he started. "I loved you, even if I didn't say it as often as I should have. You have no idea how much pain your death has caused me. Even now, I'm still on the verge of tears. It may take years for me to get over you, but I promise I will never forget you. I love you, Makoto." Haruka wasn't even sure if he could ever get over Makoto. He wasn't somebody easy to move on from. Makoto was so sweet and gentle, loyal and caring. He always had a smile on his face, and dealt neatly with his problems. He was a good listener; every time anyone needed to talk or vent to, he would listen no matter how petty or insignificant. He would surprise Haruka with small gifts like food or bracelets or trivial things like that. Losing him didn't only affect him, it affected everyone who cared about him. Makoto was a huge loss, a huge one. A loss of a quality human being. Which made no sense. If this was a test, what was he supposed to learn from it? What kind of unforgivable sin did Makoto do to deserve such a horrific death?

Haruka can only ask, why, God?


End file.
